Month: April 2019

I started writing this blog in February and put it aside. I’m picking it back up today at the beginning of April because of some recent developments in “Why are my kids growing up so fast?”

Recently we were shopping at Trader Joe’s. An entirely different blog could be dedicated to my love of T. Joes. We have been coming to this store religiously since McKay was born…maybe before then. McKay politely accepted the stickers the cashier handed out after they were finished bagging our insane amounts of groceries. But today after we made it to the car he handed those stickers to Christian. He’s too old, too uninterested, too cool for the stickers. Sometimes I can’t put my finger on how quickly time is moving. Other days it hits me like a freight train.

He tried out for machine pitch baseball in February. He’s been working hard and I would have been proud regardless but his hard work paid off. He caught a pop up fly into the sun and hurled it into 2nd base, fielded a grounder, and kept his eye on the ball and hit it 3 out of 4 pitches. I remember pitching him a little wiffle ball to his plastic bat at 18 months old and being so proud he could connect with the ball. 

Now, when it’s bath time in our house Gabe and Christian eagerly hop in. McKay reluctantly gets in after multiple requests but takes up 1/2 of the bath with his long body. He almost doesn’t fit inside it any longer. Recently we’ve been giving him the shower option which he more willingly agrees to. Last night I sat in the bathroom with him while he showered & listened to Queen songs on the waterproof speaker. It seems like yesterday I was giving him his first shower when he was only a few weeks old. I have a distinct memory of being a brand new mom, clutching this little baby, afraid to drop him while I showered in the old claw foot tub in our Baltimore house.

During our flight back from visiting Liz’s brother over spring break the flight attendant came by with a coloring book and crayons for all 3 boys. McKay looked at her and politely said “no thank you but I think my brother would like those”. Ugh. Well, if nothing else we are raising a polite kid.

The other night Gabe sat on my lap and read a book…fighting through hard C’s and soft c’s, blended letters, and outright English nonsense that I just told him to memorize…but reading all the while. How is my baby boy reading? I remember him struggling to sleep when he was little and being up for hours in the middle of the night playing with my hair. 

Tonight he sat on my lap and worked out a math word problem. He has 6 100% spelling tests displayed on our fridge. He is devouring Kindergarten but it feels like a train is blowing through town and forgetting it’s stops. Isn’t this the same boy who would say “mommy, I wish to be a bird so I could fly”. 

Recently he has been so independent. He wakes up in the morning, gets himself dressed and makes himself his own oatmeal in the microwave. Sometimes he gets Christian a diaper and an outfit all picked out and often times he wants to help dress him. Wasn’t he just this little boy who was holding my hand as we took a walk through Arnold, looking up at me with his giant wide eyes?

He also draws elaborate pictures and writes little notes to our whole family. He drew me a rainbow bird when I had the flu so I could hang it next to the bed since he was banished from the sick ward. The other day McKay was sad and crying about something. He promptly went inside and wrote him a note “I love you McKay” and gave it to him. He’s always had such a good sensitive heart. I hope he stays that way for as long as possible. 

Somehow the topic of college came up a year or two ago and we told the boys that when you go to college you normally live there and come home on breaks and during the summer. Gabe peppered me with questions about why kids live away from their parents until I finally said we have a long time to figure all of this our and told him he could live at home and drive to school each day. That seemed to satisfy him enough at the time. I’m scared to talk to him about it again though…just in case he says he’s excited to go away to college. Because I don’t think my heart can handle that now…I’m counting on him to be my home body for a while.

And then we have Christian who is now 2 years old. 2! That can’t be possible because I think I’m still pregnant with him, no? He’s no longer saying “I want my milka” or “I want to read a booka”. He has a sense of humor saying things to us like “no way” and switching the words around in songs…”Twinkle twinkle little (mama) hahaha” or “Hush little baby, don’t say a Christian”. He uses the word “poop” incessantly and thinks he’s hilarious. His brothers try to straight face…’that’s not funny Christian, poop is yucky’ but sometimes roll over in uncontrollable laughter. 

He is in full terrible 2 mode and is fighting us at every turn. He has a set of pipes that can damage eardrums and he uses them. He also has a hot temper. Don’t mess with him or you will end up punched in the face or have a (convenient) sharp or blunt object hurled at you. If we are looking at the positives…McKay and Gabe will never have to worry about another kid bullying them. Christian will be the muscle in the family for sure.

He talks up a storm and is one of the more well spoken 2 year olds I’ve ever come across. Sometimes the sentences he pieces together blow me away. He also does things I don’t want to forget like when you ask him a question he’s uncertain about he touches a finger or two to his cheek in a nervous habit, as if it will help him remember the word his brain is searching for. When he wants to be picked up he says, “I hold you”.

He still has remnants of soft baby feet but I know they will become a little less soft with every week that passes. I was holding him cradle style two nights ago and he said “mommy, I’m not a baby”…holy freaking heartbreak. Enter tirade…”What do you mean? Of course you are a baby, you are my baby, you will always be my baby.” Liz walked into the room having heard the conversation from the bathroom and looked at me with sympathetic eyes. Her look seemed to understand the real, lasting damage that comment will do to my psyche. 

Life feels hard sometimes. I’m running off to catch flights to (insert destination), Liz is hurrying off to work in the dark to make up hours, we are at sports events at all times of the weekend, and all the while trying to keep up with chores and groceries and homework and health issues. We were in the car this weekend heading back to the baseball fields again for game #2 of the day. Between games we had just enough time to go home, make lunch, mow the lawn, and fold laundry. It was a struggle to get everyone back in the car and we had just worked through a Christian screaming fit, getting Gabe dressed into his uniform, and begging McKay to put his shoes on.

We felt gassed and totally burned out and in one look with no words exchanged we both knew it. Then Macklemore came on and although the volume was low, the lyrics echoed in our car.
“I wish somebody would have told me babe. Some day, these will be the good old days. All the love you won’t forget. And all these reckless nights you won’t regret. Someday soon, your whole life’s gonna change. You’ll miss the magic of these good old days”.

Thank you to whoever sent us that song. Thank you for the reminder that we are raising these incredible humans who look up to us. And even though they are growing at the speed of light they still genuinely want to hang out with us. I want to embrace and slow down these years even though they are hard. 

This morning I carefully woke McKay at 7:30 (he’s our sleeper)…his face was wrinkled from his sheets and his eyes had trouble opening all the way. He knew it was day #1 back from spring break and the first thing he said was “I just don’t want to go back to school, I want to stay here and hang out with you guys”. There’s my baby boy. Ahhh, me too McKay…until our next weekend or vacation…

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

•