I remember crying the night before his first birthday. How did his first year fly by so quickly? And here we are, on the eve of Kindergarten and I’m still shaking my head at time.
Tonight we went on a walk and happened to pass outside of his new school. We have walked this same block many times since we moved here but it took on new meaning on this walk. All these new friends & experiences that await him in classrooms and, strangely foreign to me, open air corridors. We walked as a family & McKay rode his skateboard ahead of us…always wanting to be first…always just a little out of reach.
Truth be told, I know that tomorrow he will puff out his chest and strut confidently into Kindergarten…excitement brewing wearing his slightly nervous grin. Last year we moved him from the east coast across the country and started him in a preschool where he didn’t know a soul. 2 weeks in he was a leader amongst his crew. This summer he made 100 new friends in a camp that was separated by age group. It felt as if he knew every camper & counselor there as evidenced by our daily walks in where he’d say, “good morning George, hi Cash, good morning Brandon”. He went to a week long day camp for Skateboarding where he didn’t know anyone and got mad at us if/when we picked him up “early”. He’s social, extroverted, and makes new friends quickly. He will be just fine!
I know that Liz will be excited and beaming for him tomorrow knowing the best has yet to come…that’s Liz in a nutshell…she always looks at the bright side and doesn’t waste energy on the other stuff. It’s one of the many reasons she’s good for me. I know myself well enough to realize that I will be an actual glass case of emotion. I’m an emotional disaster just writing this. In fact, I just stopped writing to come out of Christian’s room and there he was at the refrigerator pouring himself a glass of water. I rubbed the top of his head & ran my fingers through his new haircut. Back turned I could feel Liz’s gaze on me…she could tell by the way I was touching him I was starting to think about…everything. She gave me the Oh Lord look. I burst into tears.
It’s all going too fast. It seems like just yesterday McKay was wearing the onesies that Christian is now wearing and learning to walk in our little row home in Baltimore. I love this boy so much and the amazing human he is becoming. I’m proud that he is the the best big brother ever. And I’m proud to watch him dive into new scary things…roller coasters, skateboard camp, & now school head first.
I read the boys a book tonight and laid with McKay for bed. One day he will not want his mommy or mama to lay with him until he falls asleep. But for now I soak it in. He tells me I’m warm and snuggles in close to me. I ask him if he remembers his teachers name and if he has any questions about school tomorrow…”Ms Brown, questions? No, I don’t have any questions…I’m excited for school mommy. You are warm”. I scratched his back and he fell asleep. Yep, one day he will outgrow all of this but tonight he is still my little boy diving into a new experience tomorrow and snuggling me tight.
