Traffic. Well here’s the thing. LA is one of the most densely populated cities in the US and housing is exorbitantly expensive so there’s a lot of commuting happening. If I’m being honest, the traffic is a hot mess. If I had relocated from, let’s say, South Carolina I would have completely lost my mind. But I’ve wasted hours of my life sitting in Northern Virginia, Washington DC, or the Baltimore beltway traffic. I’m used to it as much as anyone can get used to that shit. We were very strategic with our housing situation. We knew I was opposite traffic patterns heading to work, Liz would likely be working in DTLA which is within 30 mins, and LAX airport is 15 mins away. See, I’m already assimilating…Californians don’t quote distances in miles, they do it in minutes because something could be 10 miles away and take you 2 hours to travel it.
Community. We love this little neighborhood that we ended up in. It is convenient to both of our jobs and the schools. The elementary, middle, & high are all a 9 or 10 out of 10 rating. McKay’s kindergarten next year, a future tissue worthy blog, is a 5 block walk away. The bigger problem is that now we are here we don’t necessarily want to leave Culver City, but almost can’t afford to stay.
We are only renting our house but here’s some perspective…two of our neighbors on the same street as us just put their homes on the market and we couldn’t even think about purchasing them. Our immediate next door neighbors were selling their 3 bedroom 1600 sq foot house for 1.5 million. They purchased it in 2013 for 900k. Most of the residents who bought their homes anytime within the last 5-25 years have shared with me that they couldn’t actually afford to buy their current home.
There are many factors at play here but to be as basic as possible: big companies (think Snapchat, Facebook, Hulu, etc) have based themselves here, bringing more people (with money) to an already populous area, and there are more people (with money) looking for houses than there is real estate to be had. What follows? Bidding above asking price, love letters to owners, and increasing home values that seem to challenge the ceiling with every new for sale sign.
Now with all of that depressing prospective home buyer news you would think we’re actively searching for a place to buy (elsewhere). Except for one little factor…the community we’ve immersed ourselves in is one we are not ready to give up. In Maryland we lived in a 5 bedroom house on a lot of land. Most of our family and friends were anywhere from 15-120 minutes from us. In our old neighborhood I can count on less than one hand the neighbors we interacted with. When I look back on why that was I think it was due to three things: 1) the weather forces you inside for the majority of the winter months 2) the lot sizes spreads people out, and 3) most people are Marylander’s, born and raised.
Now I fast forward to our current situation. The weather is phenomenal about 95% of the time so people spend the majority of their time outside. The houses are close together, like pass the sugar through the window close, without big yards or fences in between. And last but not least…transplants. I have met very very very few people who were actually California born and bred. That mean a lot of folks who don’t have a great deal of family or friends established here when they first move. This place is a melting pot of the east coast and the mid west. I think all those factors drive interaction.
We met the neighbors across the street on Facebook before we even moved from Maryland. Dan regularly sends us info on hikes that he thinks our family would enjoy and we called him to stay with the boys the night Christian was rushed to the hospital. His daughter has babysat the boys and his son has watched our dogs. Our immediate neighbors have asked us to move their cars when they’ve been away for a week to avoid street cleaning tickets and have come home with presents for the boys each time. I’m going to start telling them that they like to drink beer so we get something out of the deal. A few houses down, our neighbor brought us Jordanian food when the baby was born and I had “noshes” and a 2 hour conversation with her on random morning while I was on maternity leave. A retired vet brings our dogs treats in the morning when he walks with some of the neighborhood kids to school. Our other neighbors invited us to their Easter party complete with beer, a bounce house, and an egg hunt. Very California hippy Easter. Others just two houses down have a 3-year-old that the boys love to play with and lead astray with their talk of butts and farts. They invited me and all of our boys over for dinner while Liz was away this past weekend (probably out of sheer pity). And Liz’s college friend Anne is one of the biggest reasons we landed in Culver City. She and her husband had relocated here from NY and raved about the area. Almost a year in and I might know her kids better than some of my friends kids back home. My point is, I know these people, I know their names, their kids or dogs names, and where they grew up, and I interact with them regularly. And in a world that is increasingly tied to their smartphones it’s nice to truly connect with people.
Our other community is Temple Akiba, McKay and Gabe’s pre-school. These two Catholic lesbians are basically born again Jewish these days (not sure how that works exactly but it does). Most Friday’s you can catch me singing to the boys…”Shabbat is here, Shabbat is here, I’m so glad that Shabbat is here”. In Maryland McKay attended a Montessori school that Gabe was already registered to attend this year. Don’t get me wrong, it was a nice school and we would have been happy there, but it was a little formal and cold. They had so many rules that not even I could keep track. And that’s saying a lot because I’m a big, nerdy rule follower. And for any of you who know our Gabe the Babe, there’s a chance he would have been kicked out of that school for being the little clown that he is.
McKay had a few friends there but nothing like Akiba friends. McKay’s class is full of kids who have all been there for 2-3 years together so you would assume he might be more of an outsider. On the contrary, his teachers and the other kids parents can’t get over that he just started this year because he’s meshed so well with the other kids. It seems like he’s always belonged. Every girl in the class wants to be his girlfriend….literally “hide yo daughters.” Haha. Although his heart belongs to Lily. Gabe the babe had never left his comfort zone of Mrs Linda’s daycare so to see him jump into this head first has been amazing. He loves school and we just happened to land in a class with another 2 mommy family. Gabe and their son Issac are besties. I’m constantly talking to the teachers and the other parents in the morning. They are always asking about Christian and a few of them were actually mad at us for not calling them the night he went to the hospital. It’s the closest thing to family we have out here and it’s been pretty great.
The atmosphere is so laid back that if Gabe wants to hang out in McKay’s class for a little while or McKay wants to hang in Gabe’s class the teachers say, ‘sure! We’ll bring him to his class a little later.’ I’m convinced this school has only strengthened McKay and Gabe’s bond. Just this morning at drop off McKay wanted to stay in Gabe’s classroom. When I picked them up one of the teachers said Shemesh (Gabe’s) class had a special guest all day long today! McKay was telling me about it on the way home. Gabe’s teacher asked them in morning meeting who wants McKay to stay with us today in and they all voted yes. McKay said: “and Issac said yes, and Gabey said yes, and I think everyone said yes…And I ate lunch with Gabe.” And then Gabe added, “and then I hurt myself and McKay was there to hug me.” Parenting win, drops mic . More often than not when I pick them up they are playing together (outside) and laughing their heads off. They have so much outdoor time because duh, it’s California, and Akiba values play (as every school should but unfortunately does not).
Speaking of play, the kids are on a t-ball team with a bunch of kids from the school. Liz and our friend Anne help coach, which is another hilarious twist. It cracks me up to watch them line up the batting order with their nerdy Oakland A’s coaches hats on. One Sunday Liz ran out of gas and was stuck in the middle of the road with McKay and Gabe in the car. Another Akiba and T-ball mom Karin saw her in the middle of the road, pulled over, put the boys in her car, and literally saved the day. When we tell people we live in LA they think of this giant smog filled city where everyone is a movie star and no one talks to one another. I hope the gas story pokes some holes in that notion.
So in the end, home prices and traffic suck and there’s not much we can do about it. But the stuff that truly matters: happy kids, sunshine, connections, and new friends that you never envisioned yourself having…that stuff is just too good to put a price tag on.
